NURSES MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Just home from an evening shift. It was only 8hrs, but it was draining and demanding on both time and the soul. Two high care patients, one with a recent (this AM) CVA and another palliative patient. Two sets of distressed families who can do nothing except try and comfort their loved ones while continually looking for answers from staff available. That is....me. In a small hospital there is no one to share this responsibility with. I am there to establish what the patient needs, what the family wants for them, and what I can legally administer. I am there to bare the brunt of their frustration when no after hour doctor can be reached. I am there to take the blame for smelling to sweet and increasing nausea- even though I only have lux soap to blame. (There are no less than 5 vases of sweet peas, roses and dried flowers in the room and I suggest maybe we remove them and see if that helps). I am there to try and explain what is happening, how 'the (health)system works' and to give comprehensive advice on what medications would be best. I feel extremely frustrated and worn down this shift. However, oddly enough I feel exhilarated knowing I could help in some small ways. I wish i was back there now and i wish the family could see me as not just the nurse who may have seemed abrupt at different times. I wish they could see that I do understand what they are going through- that in the quiet moments I stop and put myself in their shoes and understand what they must be feeling. I wish they could see that sometimes my hands are tied. Most of all i hope they see at the end of the day that I have done all I can to help.
Meanwhile in another room a lady cannot speak, cannot move her leg or arm, but she doesn't seem to understand this fact yet. She tries to swing her other leg out of bed only to find she is stuck with an unyielding weight pulling her down. She cant tell us what she wants but you can see in her eyes she thinks she is telling us something logical. Her and her family don't comprehend that chances are she wont be 'better' in the morning and are upset to know we are not putting long pj pants on her, and that even with a commode chair she cannot get up for a shower at this point in time. They cry, they blame themselves for her having been alone...It is all so sad to watch. Among this sadness are the patients who snap you back by continually buzzing for their sputum cup, their air conditioner on, their panadol that was due at 1800 and now its 1820, their pan needs emptying and of course the next round of meds are due and the notes haven't even been started!!!! This is nursing... and I love it :)